And everyone has their favourite shagging song right? Whether you wish to be romantically seduced with roses and champagne or beaten senseless with a knotted belt, there’s a band out there with you best interests/depravities at heart.

Here are the best sexy offerings according to the sickos here at the scene HQ. Feel free to add to list, or to explain why you think scene staff shouldn’t be allowed out after dark (it will depend on your preferences).

BTW…..Is it a coincidence that Marvin Gaye’s clip lasts twice as long as everyone else’s?

	Let’s Get it On – Marvin Gaye There’s nothing sexy about getting shot in the face by your father over breakfast. But right up until that happened, Marvelous Marvin was the number one soundtrack choice for drunken couples with the horn. Think also ‘Sexual Healing’ for the direct approach and ‘What’s Going On’ for the “life’s depressing, let’s fuck” angle. Clip
	Superstition – Stevie Wonder Feelin lucky punk? The drums on this 70s gem will set the rhythm, while the bass line is likely to vibrate you pants all the way down to your quivering ankles. If it’s not on by the time Stevie sings “when you believe in things that you don’t understand” it aint gonna happen my friend. Clip
	Simultaneous – Chef The pre-cursor to Beck’s Deborah, this is the South Park Chef’s ode to the three-way, complete with Winona Ryder and Whitney Houston references. Includes an invitation to “ring my bell, you fat piggy whale”, which might explain why Isaac Hayes decided South park wasn’t helping his career or his sex life. Clip
	Love & Affection – Joan Armatrading If you use this track to get laid, there’s no way you’ll get away with not calling afterwards. Soppy sax, sugar-sweet lyrics and enough sentiment to outdo a Hallmark card shop. It’s the musical equivalent of crying outside your girlfriend’s house because you can’t wait until tomorrow to see her. Yuck. Clip
	Je T'Aime - Serge Gainsbourg One way of making the listener feel a bit sexy is to record yourself getting it on and release it as a single. When they produced this 70s bunk-a-thon, the engineer would not have known where to look, but Serge had to do something to draw attention away from his nutcracking high pants. Clip
	Moments in Love - Art of Noise Avant-garde cleverness from way back before the band soiled themselves with a Tom Jones collaboration. Contains the ever-popular chat up line "Do do do do/ Do do do/ Do do  do do do do do do do...", alongside a bizarre dance routine on ice (not the drug unfortunately). Eat your heart out Torville and Dean. Clip
	I  Want You So Hard – Eagles of Death Metal Jesse ‘the Devil’ Hughes is what sex looks like when you strap on a guitar and oversized moustache. Forget romance, it’s time to ditch the soft porn in favour of studs, whips and a damp edition of TV Week. Clip
	Camarillo Brillo – Frank Zappa Most Zappa heads would plump for Dynamo Humm, the nostalgic yarn about loveless penetration with a couple of twisted sisters. But Camarillo Brillo manages to reference a dwarf, a snake, an amulet, a doll with a pin, a set of castanets and a Sears poncho. What could possibly be more arousing than that? Clip
	Closer – Nine Inch Nails How Mr Reznor manages to make “I want to fuck you like an animal” sound anything but weird is beyond me, but it works. Plenty of female fans would do anything to be stuck back to back with Trent (just like foxes and dogs do when they’re at it) and the boys probably would too. It gets you closer to God, apparently. Clip
	China Girl – David Bowie If something is restricting your amorous intentions (parents next door, belly full of alcohol, that sort of thing) grab a copy of this extended video and a large box of tissues. It shows sexy Dave nailing a young Asian chick on the beach, with scant regard for the mountain of sand gathering in the crack of his arse. Clip byAskMen